The world's greatest man

Something to share today!! A true story.

This is Lieutenant-Colonel Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill.


Born in Hong Kong to English parents and educated at King William's College on the Isle of Man, Churchill graduated from Sandhurst in 1926 and served in Burma with the Manchester Regiment. He left the army in 1936 and worked as a newspaper editor. He used his archery and bagpipe talents to play a small film role in the movie The Thief of Bagdad.

He resumed his commission after Poland was invaded, and volunteered for the Commandos after fighting at Dunkirk. It is said that Churchill was not sure what was entailed in Commando duty, but that because it sounded dangerous, he signed up. In May 1940, Churchill and his unit, the Manchester Regiment, ambushed a German patrol near l'Epinette, France. Churchill gave the signal to attack by cutting down the enemy feldwebel (sergeant) with his barbed arrows, becoming the only known British soldier to have felled an enemy with a longbow in the course of the war.

Riding his trusty motorcycle and armed only with a bow and arrow and a Scottish broadsword, he would assault the Germans, catch them completely off-guard, and fuck their shit up medieval-style. When asked by a fellow officer why Churchill insisted on carrying the broadsword into battle with him, he responded, "In my opinion, sir, any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed".

When his training was completed, he took part in the daring amphibious assault on the German base in Vaagso, Norway. As the leader of Number 2 Commando, Churchill was responsible for taking out the artillery batteries on Maaloy Island. As the landing craft raced towards their LZ, he belted out "The March of the Cameron Men" on the bagpipes to pump up his men and prove to everyone how awesome he was. When the assault ramp swung open, he fearlessly waded through knee-deep water out at the head of his men, with his trusty blade lofted high in the air, screaming "COOMMAAAAAAANNNNDOOOO!!!!!" at the top of his lungs. Two hours later, British High Command received a telegram from the front : Maaloy battery and island captured. Casualties slight. Demolitions in progress. Churchill."

Despite being shot in the neck by a German machine gun, Churchill battled throughout the Dunkirk campaign, at one point even winning the Military Cross for bravery when he rescued a wounded British officer from a German ambush -- probably by swinging in on a rope, stabbing a Nazi officer in the chest with his sword and then beating up another eight guys with his bare hands, but that's just a guess.

During the British landing at Salerno, he won another award for bravery. His squad was charged with taking out an artillery battery that was pinning down a nearby British force, despite the fact that the town of Piegoletti (where the guns were based) was garrisoned by a force much larger than his own Number 2 Commando. In the middle of the night, he had his men charge the town from all sides. The Germans were confused and surprised, and mounted a futile resistance. The 50 men of Number 2 Commando took 136 prisoners and inflicted an unknown number of casualties.

He received the Distinguished Service Order in 1943 for capturing the battery at Salerno, while commanding Number 2 Commando. He single-handedly took forty-two German prisoners and captured a mortar crew using only his broadsword. He simply took one patrolling guard as a human shield and went around from sentry post to sentry post, sneaking up on the guards and then shoving his sword in their faces until they surrendered. His response when asked about how he was able to capture so many soldiers so easily:

"I maintain that, as long as you tell a German loudly and clearly what to do, if you are senior to him he will cry 'jawohl' (yes sir) and get on with it enthusiastically and efficiently whatever the situation."

In 1944, he led Number 2 Commando in Yugoslavia, where they supported the efforts of Tito's partisans. The commandos raided the German-held island of Brač and assaulted Hill 622. Only Churchill and six others managed to reach the objective. A mortar shell killed or wounded everyone but Churchill, who played "Will Ye No Come Back Again?" on his pipes as the Germans advanced. He was knocked unconscious by grenades and was flown to Berlin for interrogation after being captured. He was placed in Sachsenhausen concentration camp.


A true story.

This is Lieutenant-Colonel Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill.



He killed Vin Diesel with his little finger. He stared Mr.T to death. And he walked over Chuck Norris and Jesus at the same time. Why? Because he's REAL. Read it, it's worth it, I guarantee.

Born in Hong Kong to English parents and educated at King William's College on the Isle of Man, Churchill graduated from Sandhurst in 1926 and served in Burma with the Manchester Regiment. He left the army in 1936 and worked as a newspaper editor. He used his archery and bagpipe talents to play a small film role in the movie The Thief of Bagdad.

QUOTE

He resumed his commission after Poland was invaded, and volunteered for the Commandos after fighting at Dunkirk. It is said that Churchill was not sure what was entailed in Commando duty, but that because it sounded dangerous, he signed up. In May 1940, Churchill and his unit, the Manchester Regiment, ambushed a German patrol near l'Epinette, France. Churchill gave the signal to attack by cutting down the enemy feldwebel (sergeant) with his barbed arrows, becoming the only known British soldier to have felled an enemy with a longbow in the course of the war.

QUOTE

Riding his trusty motorcycle and armed only with a bow and arrow and a Scottish broadsword, he would assault the Germans, catch them completely off-guard, and fuck their shit up medieval-style. When asked by a fellow officer why Churchill insisted on carrying the broadsword into battle with him, he responded, "In my opinion, sir, any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed".

QUOTE

When his training was completed, he took part in the daring amphibious assault on the German base in Vaagso, Norway. As the leader of Number 2 Commando, Churchill was responsible for taking out the artillery batteries on Maaloy Island. As the landing craft raced towards their LZ, he belted out "The March of the Cameron Men" on the bagpipes to pump up his men and prove to everyone how awesome he was. When the assault ramp swung open, he fearlessly waded through knee-deep water out at the head of his men, with his trusty blade lofted high in the air, screaming "COOMMAAAAAAANNNNDOOOO!!!!!" at the top of his lungs. Two hours later, British High Command received a telegram from the front:

Maaloy battery and island captured. Casualties slight. Demolitions in progress. Churchill."

QUOTE

Despite being shot in the neck by a German machine gun, Churchill battled throughout the Dunkirk campaign, at one point even winning the Military Cross for bravery when he rescued a wounded British officer from a German ambush -- probably by swinging in on a rope, stabbing a Nazi officer in the chest with his sword and then beating up another eight guys with his bare hands, but that's just a guess.

QUOTE

During the British landing at Salerno, he won another award for bravery. His squad was charged with taking out an artillery battery that was pinning down a nearby British force, despite the fact that the town of Piegoletti (where the guns were based) was garrisoned by a force much larger than his own Number 2 Commando. In the middle of the night, he had his men charge the town from all sides. The Germans were confused and surprised, and mounted a futile resistance. The 50 men of Number 2 Commando took 136 prisoners and inflicted an unknown number of casualties.

QUOTE

He received the Distinguished Service Order in 1943 for capturing the battery at Salerno, while commanding Number 2 Commando. He single-handedly took forty-two German prisoners and captured a mortar crew using only his broadsword. He simply took one patrolling guard as a human shield and went around from sentry post to sentry post, sneaking up on the guards and then shoving his sword in their faces until they surrendered. His response when asked about how he was able to capture so many soldiers so easily:

"I maintain that, as long as you tell a German loudly and clearly what to do, if you are senior to him he will cry 'jawohl' (yes sir) and get on with it enthusiastically and efficiently whatever the situation."

QUOTE

In 1944, he led Number 2 Commando in Yugoslavia, where they supported the efforts of Tito's partisans. The commandos raided the German-held island of Brač and assaulted Hill 622. Only Churchill and six others managed to reach the objective. A mortar shell killed or wounded everyone but Churchill, who played "Will Ye No Come Back Again?" on his pipes as the Germans advanced. He was knocked unconscious by grenades and was flown to Berlin for interrogation after being captured. He was placed in Sachsenhausen concentration camp.

So...a sad ending?

NOPE SON, if his arrows could destroy bullets and his bagpipes could blow up regiments, how could mere barbed wire contain his AWESOME?

One night in September of 1944, he escaped the camp by crawling under barbed wire and through and abandoned drain. He was later recaptured while walking towards the Baltic coast and shipped off to a prison camp in Austria.

This too would prove to be insufficient to hold Jack, however. When the camp lighting failed one night in April 1945, he dropped his shovel and walked away from work detail. He marched 150 miles through the treacherous terrain of the Alps, "liberating" vegetables he found along the way, until finally he met up with a U.S. Armored column and was sent back to England.

As the Pacific War was still ongoing Churchill was sent to Burma, where the largest land battles against Japan were still raging, but by the time he reached India, Hiroshima and Nagasaki had been bombed, and the war abruptly ended. Churchill was said to be unhappy with the abrupt end of the war, saying it could have lasted twenty more years if the Americans hadn't intervened.

After World War II ended, Churchill qualified as a parachutist, transferred to the Seaforth Highlanders, and later ended up in Palestine as second-in-command of 1st Battalion, the Highland Light Infantry.

Churchill would play his pipes one more time, at the funeral of 14 Commandos who died on the slopes of Hill 622. He and his surviving men escaped killing by the Gestapo under Hitler’s foul “commando order” through the chivalry of one Captain Thuener of the Wehrmacht. “You are a soldier, as I am,” the captain told Churchill. “I refuse to allow these civilian butchers to deal with you. I shall say nothing of having received this order.” After the war, Churchill was able to personally thank Thuener for his decency and to help him stay out of the merciless hands of the Russians.

In the spring of 1948, just before the end of the British mandate in the region, Churchill became involved in another conflict. Along with twelve of his soldiers, he attempted to assist the Hadassah medical convoy that came under attack by hundreds of Arab militants.[4] Following the massacre, he coordinated the evacuation of 700 Jewish doctors, students and patients from the Hadassah hospital on the Hebrew University campus on Mount Scopus in Jerusalem.

In later years, Churchill served as an instructor at the land-air warfare school in Australia, where he became a passionate devotee of the surfboard. Back in England, he was the first man to ride the River Severn’s five-foot tidal bore and designed his own board.

He finally retired from the army in 1959, with two awards of the Distinguished Service Order, and died in Surrey in 1996. Eccentric until the end, Churchill would toss his briefcase out of the window of the commuter train he rode home every day. Passengers and conductors were shocked because they did not know he was throwing the luggage into his own backyard as the train passed by. It saved him the trouble of carrying it all the way home from the station.

Churchill was also well known for his intricate and accurate radio-controlled models of ships, mostly warships of course, all so carefully engineered and built that they were much sought after by collectors.

Sit down, Captain America.

今天, 闲过头没事做时, 忽然间想起我有个blog。 哎，过去的这段时间，我也不知道怎么的，提不起劲来写blog。 大概是因为种种事件一连串地发生吧。。。 从失眠，到class trip, 到班上的各种活动，我也懒得一个一个提了。。。

最近几天，我的心情真的非常低落。死UEC，不声不响地就把我打倒了。我万万也想不到，我竟然能得个straight B。。。 其他科目也罢了，因为我也没怎么努力读过书，可是我的英文竟然的了个B4? 这是我连做梦也做不到的啊！从小到大，我从来不曾在英文得低过A的。就算是Cambridge的Ordinary-level英文考试，我也是全沙巴唯一一个得到A的人。你说，这样的一个烂成绩对我来说恐怖吗？事隔那么多天了，我还是想不通为什么我会得到这样的成绩。

说到我还好，我是个随随便便的人，事情过了也算了，可是我妈呢？她对我的英文期待非常高，经常都对别人说我的英文多么的好。Haiz，真的不知怎么跟她交代。。。

你们有没有发现到我今天竟然用华语来写blog？哈哈，对不起，我问了一个笨问题。现在，我已不再像用英文写作了，完全没有信心。一个在UEC英文中得到B4的人，看来也不能够写一些故事来给别人看吧。我的故事就到此为止吧，继续写也只会让别人笑话而已。

不写多了。

And It Continues

I wasn't at home for the last two days. Had been to Fui Lao's and Henry's house. I went to Fui Lao's house after watching "The Coffin" with his classmates. Oddly, I don't find anything intriguing about the movie. Nothing more than your usual horror movie. If it wasn't for the damn loud sound effects I wouldn't be shocked. Too predictable for my taste. And Fui Lao's gang made the movie like a joke. Yuntong even transformed "The Coffin" into "The Morphin".

Then I went to Fui Lao's house and watched "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" there. It's my second time watching it, it still manages to make me laugh. You just can't get enough of Zohan!! Went to Henry's house the next day. Nothing significant. Move on.

And here's the continuation of my story. Just to pass my time.




The First Obstacle in my New Life

I was pinned down by the three of them. I knew I couldn't do anything about them with my exhausted body. I just lie down and let them do whatever they want on me. I was tied up and put into a big sack. There's a huge stench of rotten vegetables on the bag that I was put into. But I couldn't care about it anymore. I didn't even try to escape in it. I just lie down and sleep. I knew that things couldn't get any worse than the situation I was in. Fallen right into the hands of the cold-blooded mafia, how was I suppose to walk out of here alive? It's not long before I get dizzy and fell asleep.

Suddenly, my face felt terribly cold. I woke up from my sleep immediately. My face was poured on by a bucket of freezing water. I found myself released from the ties. Struggling to get away from the bag that I had been wrapped in, I looked around. There were a lot of people wearing the same "uniform", I suppose, around me. There were a few special ones that wore white coloured suits though. They seems to be special. None of them look really happy about my existant, though. Then, I saw a big guy walking towards me. I remembered him. He was one of the three guys who tied me up. I stay rooted at my place, as I knew there's no way I could escape from this place. I would die faster if I do so, as they'll definitely thought that I was spy, and I knew it exactly.

"Why are you here? Who do you work for?" the guy asked me in a murderous tone. I looked at his face and saw signs of him being punched. Someone was really frustrated for seeing me here until he beat him up, I guess. "Spit it out, or I'll force it out from you!" he raised his tone. I could feel his anger. "I'm just a curious pedestrian that walked pass here. And I work for Moose's Company, the company not far away from here. I could bring you there if you want to." I answered him in a calm tone. I don't wanna show any trace of me being afraid of them, even if deep down my heart, I was trembling with fear. "Don't fuck with me, kid. I'm not that dumb," he answered. "Well, if believing in the truth is dumb for you, then let me tell you a lie. I'm Superman," I mocked him. He erupted and ran towards me. He threw a punch right at my face. I dodged it. But then I slipped, as the wet and frozen floor were too slippery for me to even stand still. I fell hard onto the ground.

"What's causing such a ruckus here?" a voice shouted. Then, a warm and strong arm picked me up. I looked up at that person. It was the kind-looking old man that I had saw on the television. "Big... Daddy?" I murmured to myself confusingly. He smiled at me. "So young man, how did you end up here?" he asked. "I was.... passing here until I saw that symbol there," I said while pointing at the marking right at the end of the alley. "I got curious and then here is where I ended up." "You lying scum! If you're as innocent as you say you are, why would you need to hide yourself?" the man asked me furiously. "Hey, it was obvious that the symbol was from you all. I saw it from the papers. Why the heck wouldn't I hide from the you all, when you're about to see me? God knows what would happen if you found me standing there. I could have been killed!" The old man beside me stared at me, in a gentle way. "So that's what the normal residents think about us..." he sighed. The angry man who was about to jump on me stopped in his path. Slowly, he walked back to his original position.

"Let him go," the old man ordered. "No way," a man in white suit said suddenly, standing out from the crowd of mafias. "Even if he's innocent, he had now seen the face of us. There's no way that we could all sleep in peace if he's freed. Our identity are exposed. We have to keep him silent forever," he said. I was sent into shivers by his words. I prayed desperately for my life, as there's nothing else I could do at that moment. "Is killing him the only option?" the old man asked. "I'm afraid so," the man in white answered. The old men stood in silence. "Nope, there's still another option," another guy in white suit answered suddenly. He looks much younger than the previous guy in white. "He's definitely around my age," I thought to myself. "Hey Rick, would you mind shutting your stupid mouth for once in your life?" the older guy in white said. "Chill dude, I'm serious here. How about you listening to what my stupid mouth says for once in your life time?" Rick answered while chewing on a piece of gum. "Spit that shit out of your mouth and talk to me properly!" the guy answered. "Hey hey, calm down. I was just joking. Well listen ot me now, this guy could be kept alive if he joins us, right? With that, there's no way that he would tell the others about us. Unless he wants to see his family members in danger " Rick said. "You don't want that to happen, right?" he asked while looking at me. I shooked my head. I was terrified.

"So you could actually use that puny brain of....""Jo, stop provoking Rick, would you?" the old man interrupted after hearing both of them for long. Jo stopped talking. It was a total silence for sometime until Rick talks again. "See, the night turned peaceful in a short while after you stopped talking, Jo!" Rick said while grinding. "You too, stop provoking Jo," the old man ordered him. "Yayaya, whatever you say, Big Daddy," Rick answered. So it's now confirmed that the old man was really the Big Daddy of the gang. I had finally confirmed my doubts, but there is no happiness in me. "Now you, what's your choice?" Big Daddy turned to me. "I.... I'll join you all," I answered. I was actually thrilled by the fact that I could still be alive after tonight, but I have no idea whether I was making the right decision by joining them. "It's not going to be easy to be with us," he told me. I nodded my head. "So from now on, you're a part of......" he said. "Not that fast," a voice interrupted.

A really huge guy with a scar right on his face came out and stood out of the crowd and walked to me. "Prove yourself to me before even considering about joining us," he said. "W-W-What do I need to do?" I asked in a trembling voice. He took out a knife from his pocket. "You know what mafias do, right?" he asked. I shook my head in fear. "We live on the edge of our knives. Now prove to me that you could at least use a knife. Don't expect any mercy from me, though. I have a fetish of looking at blood oozing out from someone," he answered. I was flabbergasted. I looked at Big Daddy, trying to seek help from him. "It's a tradition for us to have a fight with one of the "Family Members" before joining us, we can't break our tradition," he told me. "Family Members are those who are wearing white, just in case you don't know." "B-B-B-But I don't have a knife with me!" I said.

Then Rick walk towards me with a knife in his hand. "Now here's my knife. Fight with all that you have with it. Be sure to keep me entertained. I despise stupid people," he told me. I stared at him with my eyes wide open in disbelief. "You don't actually think that I'm helping you, do you?" he told me. "Now let me tell you. The main reason I suggested that you could join us instead of getting killed is because that it had been a really boring week for me. Man, I would definitely wanna watch someone struggling with his life at stake instead of watching someone being killed helplessly. Now, do your last dance with my knife," he said to me. "Or maybe it's not the last," he said, grining from ear to ear. I looked up at the huge guy. "So here goes nothing!" I whispered to myself before dashing towards him.

The First Post

Finally, the days that I had long anticipated for had arrived - the ending of the UEC examinations. So for now, I'm gonna go BAWWWWWWWWWWWW and rant it all off here.

It had been a tough ride. A fucking tough ride I must say. My first day was messed up by the lack of sleep. I couldn't even concentrate at all. And on the second day, it's all about Physics. I failed, hard. I don't even need to look at my result to know that. And days after that was all about tough exam papers. It scared the living fuck out of me. I had never been in such despair before. There is a possibility that I could not get even the minimum of my expectations. My hopes are shattered. I would now need to reconsider what to study for my tertiary education. I'm trying to be realistic here, there's no fucking way I could get the course I wanted.

Today's the last day of it, and I was expecting as an easy day. English was never the problem for me, at least here in Malaysia. But yet, I feel really dissatisfied with the amount of words allowed for an essay. So here, I'm gonna write all I want here. Do excuse me if I made this a place to post my stories.




The night my life turned upside down

The moon was hanging up high in the sky. Unlike her usual self, she had most of her part hidden in the night clouds, as if she was hiding from something. I thought it was funny and amusing, after going through a tough day. Little did I know, the very same thing the moon had done is going to happen on me.

I was walking down the street on my tired legs. Fatigue had taken its toll on me. It was really late in the night, as its all but a deafening silence around me. The mere thought of me being the only one walking down the street made me shiver. "Let's get home quickly," I thought to myself. But I could hardly motivate myself to pick up my pace. The cold wind was blowing right at my face. It was a damn cold night. I rubbed my freezing hands against each other to keep them warm. I could hear the echos of my breathings. That's how empty the street was.

The dim street lights was shining onto the route of my routine path home. Oddly, they seemed to be darker than usual. The very look of the path sent chills right down to my spine. It gave me an eerie feeling about it. "Calm down," I told myself, "I'm halfway home already. Nothing is gonna happen to me." Suddenly, a gust of wind blew right at my back. My hair is standing at its end. "Run!!", that's the only thing I could thought of at that very moment. I was totally freaked out. My tired legs suddenly found its strength to stride forward. I was running like a madman until I reached an alley on my right. I turned towards it, and I saw that.

A huge marking was made right at the end of the narrow alley. My curiosity had overwhelmed my fear and urge of running. I decided to check it out. As I was nearing it, I could tell that the marking was done literally by someone. As the image gets clearer and clearer, I have an uneasy felling all over me. "This seems familiar, really familiar," I thought. When I finally gets closed enough, I saw it. The symbol of "Millenia", a symbol that was said to be used by the mafia gang called "Millenium" to mark their place of gathering. I knew I had gone a step too far. Before I could even start to think about leaving the place, I heard someone talking behind me.

I hid myself under the pile of rubbish nearby without even thinking. I couldn't care more about the foul smell of it. I just don't wanna be noticed. I stayed still there for quite some time until I finally decided to find an opening to peep at what's happening outside. And I saw them. Three big guys standing not far away from, wearing glasses and black suits. It cannot be mistaken. They are definitely from the mafia. I was terrified. I had seen enough "incidents" done by the mafia to make me feel so. The cold hearted mafia that doesn't even have a trace of kindness in them was right in front of me. At least that's what I thought about them at that time.

"Let's check this whole place properly. Big Daddy will be here tonight. We cannot afford even the smallest bit of mistake," one of them said. I was stuttered. Big Daddy, what everyone calls him, is the leader of this "Millenium" mafia gang. He was a really hot figure not too long ago, as the police tried to nail him down. Of course, he was too "influential" to be nailed by the incompetent police we had in our place. But what confuses me the most was his appearance. The "Big Daddy" arrested by the police was really a kind-looking old man. "He can never be the leader of this notorious mafia gang," I told myself. I had developed a liking towards him, and I'm not sure why.

I had decided to stay at the place, so that I could clarify my doubts. I will get to make sure who Big Daddy is with my own eyes. But sometimes, things just doesn't go the way you wanted them to be. A cold breeze crept into the pile of rubbish that I'm hiding in. I had been exposed to the freezing night for way too long, resulting in my inability handle the breeze. I sneezed. I cursed my luck. I knew that I'm in hot soup right after I did that. I get out of my hiding place instantly, and darted away from the mafias. "It's now or never," I told myself.

Sadly, my tired legs wouldn't listen to my command. I only managed to dash for a short distance before I was held down by the mafias. Their strength was too much for the exhausted body of mine. "Let's bring him to Big Daddy. He might be a spy from somewhere," one of them said. Finally I get to see Big Daddy personally, but that was definitely not the way I wanted it to be. It was the night my life turned outside down.




That's basically what I've written. I wanted to keep it going, due to the fact that I have ample amount of free time now. But I'm gonna need comments on whether I should or not. I don't wanna waste my effort on something =)